accomplished twins. life is a go
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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