Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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