you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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