We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize