$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
