if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
