just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
