I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
