another moral hangover. fuck.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
