And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
