I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
