Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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