I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
