Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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