the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
