And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
