i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
