So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
