i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Boobs are out for the taking
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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