I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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