So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
