you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
