He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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