evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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