she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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