We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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