I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
