was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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