Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
