i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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