im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
