How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
