No stitches, just platelets and will power
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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