there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
