Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Randomize
