he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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