im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
