the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
