sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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