I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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