bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
