I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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