Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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