I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
