You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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