it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
