Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
