if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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