Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
