Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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