? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
